God's Country

"What’s wrong with you?" said Rick to Miranda, the following morning. "You look funny."

"Just woke up late, I guess," she said, shaking out a fresh sheet.

Damn straight she’d woken up late. At 5:37 a.m., to be exact. And not in her own bed. She’d slid out from under Boo Radley’s encompassing arm and dressed in the dark of his bedroom, leaving her underwear because she couldn’t find it. What a slut, she thought, holding her sandals in one hand and sneaking out the front door. She shivered as the pre-dawn air lanced through her thin cream-colored sweater. She rolled her car down the driveway and into the street before she turned on the engine.

She sped through the quiet North Escondido neighborhood, unafraid of knocking down toddlers or pets at this crazy hour. Oh God, her bladder was full, and nowhere to stop between here and home. But she really hadn’t wanted to wake him. She took El Norte Parkway which led straight to the bottom of the grade. The pressure was too much. She dug some tissue out of her glovebox, pulled over next to an orange grove and pissed behind a tree. It was simple in a dress with a big skirt and no underwear. No one would have seen a thing even if it were broad daylight, but she still felt like a skank for doing it.

It had been a day for firsts. She’d never called up a guy and asked him out before. She’d never bought a dress for a date. She’d never stayed out all night. She’d certainly never slept with a guy on the first date. And she’d never peed in public. She shivered again, even with the heater blasting, remembering the lean strength of him. She’d felt small, fragile – a feeling she’d never had with other men she’d dated. But he had picked her up like a doll. And she hadn’t even tried to dissuade him.

The aftermath of half a bottle of good red wine pounded through her temples, while the aftermath of hours of sex throbbed between her legs. She giggled almost hysterically then clapped a hand over her mouth. This was most unlike her. Miranda was steady, calm, reliable. Not a one-night-stand. But here she was, bumping home in the dark, sneaking into her own house as certainly as she’d snuck out of Boo’s, trying to fool her mother into thinking she’d been there all night. Her steps crunched in the gravel as she went up to her front door, turning the key quietly in the lock. She hesitated just inside, listening for her mother, but all was quiet. She went into her room with a sigh and flipped on the light. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, all big eyes and messy hair. She could feel her thighs, she noticed them in a way she never normally did, the softness of the skin where they touched. She dropped the dress in a heap and pulled on a big T-shirt and some underwear. That was an improvement.

She snuggled under her own covers. It was about 6:15 a.m. She was seeing Rick at 8:00 a.m., but she could call him and push it to 8:30 a.m. Just time for a little nap….But she’d forgotten to set her alarm and what woke her in the end was her mother knocking on the door and telling that Rick was on the phone for her. She groaned and shouted, "Tell him I’ll be there in half an hour!" She’d rolled out of bed and bolted into the shower, grabbing an apple on her way out the door, barely speaking to Nadine, who hadn’t seemed to notice her late entrance. She’d not been too late for Rick, it was 8:40 a.m. when she’d walked in the front door, but he had been impatient, chafing at her to move faster.

She’d tried, but she kept dropping things, sloshing the water out of the basin, forgetting what she was doing right in the middle, dithering over what to do next. Rick finally started just barking orders at her, and she followed them without a word.

"You need to get more sleep," he said as she was finally finished. "That took like an hour and a half!"

"Yeah, I’ll be better tomorrow," she said, packing up her supplies. "But why the big rush?"

"Sandy’s coming to see me today," he said reluctantly. "I think we’re going to try to get back together."

Miranda stared at him. "That baby is Donny’s, right?"

"Yeah."

She took a deep breath through her nose, no longer such a terrible thing since all the smelly waste was now cleaned up and packed away. Breathing through the mouth was a trick all nurses learned early on.

"So why do you want her back?" She wasn’t normally so blunt but she was out of sorts today.

"It’s love, man. Who can explain it?" he said, with an uncharacteristic grin that turned his severe Indian prince face into a warrior maiden’s dream.

She snorted. "Well, good luck with that." And left him.

She saw movement on the couch as she passed it and glanced over. It had been pulled out into a sofabed and two people were squirming under the covers. At her footsteps, a flap of blanket flipped back. It was Donny, staring right at her as his hips made a familiar rhythm. She recognized his partner as Sandy, also staring at her without remorse or embarrassment, sloe-eyed with passion. Miranda stopped.

"Oh there you are," she said in a neutral tone. "Rick’s ready to see you. He’s really looking forward to your visit."

"She’ll go when I’m done with her," said Donny, thrusting harder, making Sandy writhe and moan in front of him, her round belly doming the covers.

Miranda stalked out the door. The little girl, Lily, was standing alone in the front yard, holding a yellow dandelion and wearing a worn yellow dress three sizes too large for her, drooping off her tiny shoulders. As Miranda approached her, she smiled and held out the flower. Miranda crouched down to her level and took the flower, sticking her nose in it as though it were the sweetest smelling rose in the world.

"Is this for me?" she asked the girl. She nodded, her cheek filthy with caked dirt and snot.

"Thank you so much, sweetheart."

One of the yard dogs came up to them and sniffed desultorily before going back to lie down in the shade. The dogs no longer troubled Miranda, she’s already become part of their dusty landscape. And, as wild as they seemed, they seemed to understand who was family. She decided the little girl was probably better off unsupervised in the yard with the dogs than inside watching her mother fuck her father’s brother while everyone in the house walked by.

Dear Lord, she thought, climbing into her car and placing the wilted dandelion on the dashboard. What did Lily ever do to deserve a life like this? Miranda spent a lot more time these days thinking about the plight of the American Indian.

She checked her watch. Despite her late start, she had just enough time to go home and have a real breakfast before heading into the office and doing the rest of her rounds. She could go out the back road and see Mrs. Brown on the way in.

Nadine was sitting at the kitchen table, smoking, a half-empty bowl of Froot Loops in front of her. She rarely got dressed these days, just stayed in her pink fuzzy shortie robe, with a cotton nightie underneath, and her lambskin slippers. Miranda bustled around, scrambling eggs with chopped green onion, slicing up some fruit, making coffee. Nadine usually drank the coffee, but Miranda felt in need of a good strong caffeine jolt. She slid an extra bowl of fruit in front of her mother, knowing she probably wouldn’t touch it.

"So, tell me about this boy," her mother said. Miranda cringed.

"He’s not a boy, Ma. He’s a grown-up." She took a breath and started spilling details to forestall any more awkward questions. "He’s 33, a construction foreman. He’s in charge of building the new Civic Center in Escondido. He’s from Louisiana and has a southern accent."

"What’s his name?"

Miranda sighed and closed her eyes. Out with it. "Boo Radley." Nadine laughed, but it turned to a wheeze.

"Like in the book?" she said finally.

"Just like that." Miranda ate a banana slice.

"We have to go see Grandma Lupe this weekend," said Nadine, tapping her ash into an actual ashtray. She picked up her fork and poked at the fruit.

"If the doctor doesn’t send you to the hospital on Friday," said Miranda, eating eggs.

"I’m not going to the hospital, I told you," said Nadine. "What does he look like?"

"You are if the doctor says so. Tall, kind of rangy, with brown hair and blue eyes." That didn’t exactly cover it, but it was as much as she was willing to tell her mother.

"He’s not married?"

"If so, he keeps her chained in the attic," she snapped back, then cussed herself out as her mother’s eyes sharpened.

"So you been to his house?"

"We stopped for a drink after dinner. It was on my way home," she said, feeling trapped.

"You didn’t drive home drunk, did you?"

"No, Ma." That was true enough. She’d been perfectly sober when she finally left.

"You should bring him to meet Grandma Lupe."

"You’ve got to be kidding." Miranda set her fork down and stared down Nadine.

"Why? You like this man enough to sleep with him the first time you go out, you should introduce him to your family." She got to her feet and left the kitchen. Miranda put her face in her hands. Maybe coming home for breakfast had been a bad idea.

But she did feel better after food and a couple of cups of black coffee. She made it through Mrs. Brown’s harangue in a sort of pleasant fog. Mara stopped her on her way out, handing her a package of homemade coffee cake. She waved off Miranda’s thanks.

"You look good, Miss Miranda," she said in her thick accent. "You get laid more often." She wandered back into the trailer, leaving Miranda open-mouthed on the crushed stone walkway.

Something was definitely off. Dennis, who was doing much better now that he was actually resting his knee, actually flirted with her, and even Claire Munton was giving her bright-eyed sly looks. Miranda began to dread going into the office. She particularly wanted to avoid Karina, who would naturally be curious as to the results of her aid in the girl department.

She delayed as long as she could, but unfortunately hit the afternoon rush. They were all there, Roberta, Brenda, Karina, Faith. Even Lucinda, who was only part time, and the new girl, Maria Belize. The hooting began as soon as she stepped foot inside. Everyone making calls for the next day put the phone down and came to cluster around her.

"How was your date, Miranda?"

"How did he like the dress?"

"What’s he like? Tell us all about him!"

She knew it was good-natured. She had few enough dates that this legitimately counted as a Big Deal. She even had to admit that had it been one of the others, she would have joined in and done the exact same thing. She wanted to blow up at them, but couldn’t bring herself to do it.

"The date was fine, he liked the dress, I had the chicken parmigiana. Now, if you ladies will excuse me, I have lots of work to prepare for tomorrow, and gee, Faith that sure looks like a huge pile of unfiled charts on your desk, and oh Roberta, can you look these over for me?" she shoved a thick report into her supervisor’s hands, then turned her back and sat down at her desk. The other nurses laughed and dispersed, except for Karina.

"Are you going to see him again?" she asked, a steely no-nonsense glint in her normally mild green gaze. Boy, she was really tough about this dating stuff. Miranda felt that if she applied the same confident attitude to her
nursing, she’d soon be one of the best nurses on staff.

"We’ll see," she said, and wouldn’t answer anything further.